i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
