I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
