Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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