my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Panties = found
Randomize
