census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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