woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
