I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
