Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
