Is it because I queefed?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
