Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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