found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
