chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Randomize