you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
