dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
