FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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