I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
