We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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