Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
