apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
