that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
