I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
