I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
