Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
