is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize