when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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