i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The adults are the big ones right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
