i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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