piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize