in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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