Im at strip club and am horny
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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