Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I am naked and annoyed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
