we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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