You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
