your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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