I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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