dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
