I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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