There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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