Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
