it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize