the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
