i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
