i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and she was petting her beer can
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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