Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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