I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
