It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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