i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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