My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
