There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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