Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
