would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
