grandma shit on top of the toilet
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
