we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
