I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
