I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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