He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
