is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
