There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what the fuck happened to the tacos
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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