I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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