I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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