three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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