he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
