why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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