There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
