Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
