I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
